so today was my first day of sex ed. what did we do today in class, you ask? alright, well we started off by playing this game where we name all the dirty synonyms for "penis," "vagina," "breasts" and "sex."
my group had "breasts"...and surprisingly i found it quite a challenge to get past 20 dirty words. i had to call up alan during class for some help...
alan: dude, i can't think of anymore for 'boobs'...i can only think of 'penis'....is that a bad thing??
its all good, dude....my team managed to get 3rd place...its good to know that i got friends to back me up at a time like this...
oh yeah, one thing that i've never heard before was "hiding the salami"...its a good thing i go to college to learn vocab like that. oh, and check out our first homework assignment...
"Use a flashlight and mirror to examine your genitals. Write a 1-page essay describing your genitals, how you feel about them, and how this will, or already does, affect your sexual relationship(s). 5pts. Due Oct 8."
man, this was a crazy summer. this summer concluded my first full year since leaving home...its definately a sad thought...but i think i've made the best of it.
this summer was all about trying new things. back home its typically the same 'ol same 'ol, which is not bad at all, but now that i was here in the states i finally had the opportunity to meet new people and try new things. :bigthumbup:
the first thing i did to kick off my summer was....vegas, baby!!! not only did i get to kick it with my webb homie, hayes...but i also got to meet gorgeous, sweetheart friend, isabelle. man, that was crazy. i finally was in vegas for the first time since turning 21 and it was definately cool doin' the whole vegas experience with people that are down to do anything.
after vegas, i did my little annual manly bonding trip with mark, raynell and some other guys...and where's a better place to do then the porn convention!!! cough i mean Adult Entertainment Expo...yeah...
a few days after that, i was a little depressed over some girl shit...so i cruised up to santa monica to kick it with hayes & isabelle for a couple hours. next thing i know i was set to go to san diego with 'em!! down there i got to check out the beach and meet a couple cool guys, KC and...and...uhhh....fuck! i can't remember the other guys name...blame it on the shibby. but anyways, it was cool.
4th of july came after that and it was really chill. i got to kick it with a buncha webbies who i haven't seen in a while and we talked up some good times...over some shibby. :mrgreen:
oh yeah, around this time i joined a bball league with sj, joe, emil and some other guys...but man, that shit was such a flop. the league was so piss-poor at organizing, it just collapsed. we only played one game...and got blown out by 25+ points...but whatever, i blocked that one tall motherfucker!! mwahahahahaaha
oh man, the weekend after that was NorCal, baby!!! man was there a lot of drinking that weekend. i'll always remember (although a very blurry, drunken memory) playing king's at isabelle's place with cathy, soren, meagan, stan, bas & hayes. good times!!
the weekend after that was a really chill one. finally got together with hayes, stan & jose and we visited our fallen homie, walter cooley. first went to his place to reminisce with his parents...and i finally figured out why he died -- liver cancer. i teared up a bit...but it was good having some of the homies around again.
ahhh yes, and now onto the infamous week in NorCal...one of those nights was the strip club night....got drunk...and then ria's wedding...got hella drunk and i discovered that i can break dance....and then the house party at cathy's place...with beer pong....got WAAAAASTED...man, that was crazy. i beat meagan 4 times in beer pong.... ....sorry, just had to throw that one in there....anyways, my liver was hurtin' after those back-to-back-to-back nights of hardcore drinkin....but man, it was soooooooo worth it.
there was also this one night when john IMed me out of nowhere and told me that sean got FUCKED UP in a freak bike accident. i'll never forget that night...
shortly after that was alan's 21st birthday. the night was kind of a bust, however, because my dumb ass forgot to bring dress shoes to the club...so of course, we couldn't get in. it was all good though, because i came back the weekend after....and that weekend was when phoebe & james were in town. the highlight of the weekend was...well....getting trashed...and then checkin out Studio 54. phoebe...uhh...kinda almost passed out so the night was cut a bit shorter than it was supposed to. oh yeah, that night i was feelin' like a highroller...so i decided to throw $60 on black at the roulette....and...well...i was broke after that.
aight, so later that month was rose's cotilon (sp?) which is also known as the-18th-birthday-of-a-girl-and-she-makes-her-debut-into-society-as-a-woman-and-gets-a-shit-load-of-birthday-money. i didn't drink that night...liver was just rejecting the alcohol...but boy, did rose ever drink....
the weekend after that was probably the best possible way to end the summer....a udh reunion. it was just awesome having a bunch of the crew chillin at my place. i was glad that the whole mike-sierra-cathy thing worked out just fine too. :bigthumbup:
man, this was a crazy summer. all the babble that i wrote above doesn't even include all the endless nights i spent just kickin it with the webbies...and the nights i crashed at john/chin/sean's place...and even little things like talking to april online...all of these things made my day, everyday this summer.
dno't get me wrong though, i dearly miss the summer days in saudi. but this summer was really great. i went new places, met new faces, did new things with some old friends...the fun never ended. and when i wasn't hangin out or drinkin, i was workin my ass off on my justbball.com and my other sites (oh and btw i finally broke 1,000 members on my JBB ). i didn't waste a single bit of my summer.
so yeah, summer's ended and tomorrow morning i'm headed back to cal poly. i'm not sad at all though...i'm stoked more than anything. i get to see the rest of the cal poly crew again...start playin' some bball for PE...take some really cool classes on shit that actually interests me...its gonna be a fun year.
anyways, i gotta go and start getting my shit packed...looks like its gonna be a loooooong night of shitpacking for me tonight...hahaha
i'm gonna graduate from cal poly (6 year plan) with a bachelors in e-business, focusing on online entrepeneurship & small business management....however my company is gonna be anything BUT small...my Hotmel Media Corporation is gonna flourish...and i'll buy out other companies such as Yahoo! and AOL....but then i'll sell it for bagazillion dollars.
i'll be on the cover of Time Magazine for being the youngest man to ever hit $500 billion...i'll have my own magazine....my own designer label called "Tajon" (with the french sounding "J")...i'll have my own restaurant chain...and i'll own the lakers...
i'm gonna live the bachelor life to the max...gonna ride around town in a blue jaguar xk8 cabrio...a buncha SUVs too....and of course, an old school 1982 mitsubishi galant...a burgundy one...just like the one i had in saudi...of course, it'll have a kick ass system & a super-charged engine (i'm not a huge fan of racing...but what the hell who cares?), be voice activated featuring the soothing voice of jenna jameson...and of course, it'll have gps/navigation...along with a one of a kind autopilot feature that was specially designed for me by IBM.
i'll also get me a platinum presidents rolex with diamond hour markers...bling bling mother trucker...
eventually, i'll want to settle down and find me a wife...and her name will be rachel stevens. she will be the greatest thing to happen to me...and boy, she's gonna be a monster in bed. hehehe. sure, she's a little high-maintenance...after all, she's been ranked as the #2 hottest woman in the world two years in a row...but hey, i'll be some god damn rich, it won't matter anyways, naaaa'aaameeeee?
the wedding will be beautiful...and it'll be HUGE...everyone that i've ever known in my life will be there....that's right...everyone. if you knew me from school and you said "hi" to me once, you're goin. it'll be a massively huge ceremony...out in an amazing church (still not sure where, but it'll be a big church)...with all of my friends there...and all gazillion aunties and uncles that i didn't even know existed...the room will be completely filled with love....
my house...man...my house is gonna be tight. i personally don't like super big mansions...i just want it to feel like home. i'm gonna live out in the desert with all my homeboys from saudi...model the entire place after my hometown with the commissary and dininghall and security gates and everything. my house will be just like the one from back home...its just one story, 3 bedrooms and a big ol backyard...but man, its gonna be stocked with all this cool shit. every room will have a fatty plasma tv...the backyard will have a swimming pool with a waterbasketball hoop...a fully customized basketball court in my backyard with the Lakers logo in the middle...and of course, a ketchup pump at the dinner table, specially made and refilled daily with libby's ketchup.
i'll get my parents their own house too...hell...it'll be huge....10x bigger than my current house in vegas...they don't like big houses because its a bitch to maintain...but i'll have hired so many people to take care of 'em it won't matter...i'm gonna spoil my parents 30x more than they've ever spoiled me...hell, i'll give my dad my credit card with no max on it...just as a payback because that's what he did for me...
i'll hire my old houseboy, darmi, to be my butler. he'll live in the house that connects to mine (aka erol's house)...it'll be just as cool as mine cuz its what he's always wanted for himself and his family....
i'll hire my own personal chef...hell...i'll hire my own TEAM of chefs...they'll know how to make EVERYTHING...including dad's sweet n sour chicken...papa johns jalepeno pizzas (don't forget that righteous garlic sauce)...hano's california rolls...spicy chicken bowls from yoshinoya...these guys will be the greatest cooking team ever assembled.
eventually i'll have kids. i'll have a boy & a girl...in that order. i'm not sure what i'll name the boy but the girl will either be named "leanna" or "marion." leanna is just a pretty name and marion is a tribute to my mother, marynin. my daughter, she'll be gorgeous...but my son, who will be a basketball/football/track/wrestling star (just like his father) will be her protector. i'll make all these strict rules but i know they'll be breaking all of 'em and be sneaking out of the house...its all good though. the kids they hang out with will be the children of all of my closest friends.
just for goodtime's sake, just like how nico explained it, we'll have security guards on the camp...fat, arabic ones that like to eat kabsa and smoke up....they'll drive around in the good ol red & white ford f150's and hassle the kids to keep 'em in check. they'll basically be too fat and slow to do anything else other than say "yes boss, yes hallo, yes stop, you have ID."
oh man, and the shwarma guy...i can't forget the sweaty turkish shwarma guy. the exact guy that worked at that one corner store...he'll be shipped over here to the states and will legaly have his name changed to "erol the shwarma guy." he'll have his own little cart, kinda like an icecream cart...except for shwarmas...and he'll drive all over town handing out freshly made shwarmas.
aight, so maybe i'm dreamin' a little too much here...but you know what? i'm just gonna live my life day by day, work hard, keep lookin forward and try to be a good person. who knows? maybe karma will be good to me later in life...win the lottery or something. but the main thing is, if years down the road i have a steady job, a loving family...and STILL be in touch with my friends after all these years...well...that's all i could ever ask for...
alan & james arrive. we chill at my house until mike finally makes it and then we head out to USC to pick up dan & jacquie. that was the first time in years that mike & dan saw eachother...man it was crazy. no offense to any Trojans out there but USC was fuckin' ghetto. man it was crazy. right when we pick 'em up we head out to the Gypsy Cafe in LA for some shisha & shwarmas. spend a good couple hours just catching up and then headed back to my place to crash. man it was crazy.
Day 2: The Big Get Together
the next morning i wake up and mike is gone...he woke up around 9am to go surfing. man he's crazy we eventually met up with dan & jacquie and ate at one of my favorite hole-in-the-wall burger joint, Duke's. rose (my cousin) was there and she got a glimpse of how low our maturity level drops when we all hang out. man its crazy. anyways, we go back to the house and start stocking up on the achohol...
eventually, alan & i took nikki (james' car) to pick up sierra in LA. if it wasn't for cindy (james' navigation system) that got us thru LA, we would've been lost as shit. man it was crazy. felt a little claustraphobic being in the corporate part of LA for the first time. anyways, we finally meet up with sierra and take her to my place.
that first meal of the day serves two purposes: it jump starts your metabolism and maintains your blood-sugar level. so what happens when you skip breakfast? your metabolism remains slow for most of the day. skipping breakfast also causes your blood-sugar level to take a nose dive, so when lunch rolls around you'll be craving much more than you normally would.
i had to change my screenname because too many people from my justbball site were getting into my personal life...they kept inviting me into chats and checkin' out my profile and shit. and also, i'm got tired of my BaNGaRaAaNG screenname.
i've decided to change it to Bang UDH cuz its short, sweet and its a tribute to home...udhailiyah for life.
this is gonna be my last screenname change so you can go ahead and delete BaNGaRaAaNG from your buddylist now.
flew in with some of my relatives....got into the hotel and chilled for the rest of night....pretty boring...
Day 2: The Family Arrives
all my other relatives flew in. went to the Fisherman's Wharf (a HUGE fish mart on the pier) for lunch....too bad i don't eat seafood. later that day we had the rehearsal for the wedding.
the day was pretty chill...but then when the sun went down we started the party. me, mark and my cousins raynell, russel and kim went strip clubbin. we had a few shots before we left and then when we got there we drank more and more...russ and i even smoked a nice J just outside the club...the bouncer was all "daaaaaamn that shit smells goooooood."
Day 3: The Wedding
the wedding was beautiful. it was mostly family and close friends...at this nice church and all...i actually teared up a bit...but anyways, the REAL party started back at the hotel for the wedding reception.
mark got us a round of shots....then melissa....then me....it was pretty damn crazy getting piss drunk with all my cousins....and in front of our parents!!!
drunken mark: melissa, get your ass over here and take some shots with us!! drunken melissa: no, i can't handle straight liqour!! drunken mark: fine then...have some GAY liquor!! drunken me: :D
rose has been giving me shit saying that i can't dance....so that night i started to bust out my shit....old school 80s breakdancing style.
i've always tried to do that little windmill shit...and i've only been able to do it once before i just fall over. but for some reason the alcohol made me feel like i could finally do it....so i got out in the middle of the dance floor, cleared out everyone....and i did it!!! i did 6 windmills in a row, baby!!!! it was funny cuz when i was finished i looked up and everyone was on the floor....at first i thought it was cuz i kicked everyone but really they were just rolling on the floor laughing. i dunno how good/shitty my windmills were but i didn't care...i was drunk as shit.
Day 4: The House Party
the next day i was in pain....i bruised both of my knees, sprained my ankle, hurt my neck and my head...words of experience, don't leave your head sticking out when the elevator door closes....
i saw all of my family off to the airport and i took the train to berkeley. i was actually scared as fuck because it was my first time on a train by myself...anyways, when i get off the berkeley stop, i walk into this one asian dude...it took me a while but i realized that it was Tim Tow from webb!! such a small fuckin world. this was a kid i used to pick on at webb...he looks like a monkey...but anyway, it was still cool just bumping into a familiar face like that.
as soon as i met up with cathy, she tells me they're throwing a party. most of the day was spent on preping up the place and shit. cathy totally expected it to be a bust cuz it was a sunday night and people here still have summer school/work.
9:30 rolls around and 8 girls come in....awesome...11 girls and me. we started takin jello shots and hung around til a shitload of guys came in. once we had about 25-30 people in the house, we busted out the jungle juice and the beer pong.
i played about 5 games of beer pong...i was 4-1 baby!!! jesse davidson (went to kenya with him back in 7th grade...first time seeing him in 8 years...) and i beat the undefeated 3-0 team...then we spanked meagan & isabelle. meagan started to talk some shit so i duked it out with her one-on-one.
i won.
"i can't do it without my partner...i need my partner."
psssssssh pleeeeease woman!!! her and isabelle challenged me to one last game. i was spankin 'em pretty bad but then when it got down to the last cup, i was drunk as shit. went back and forth for a long ass time but the sausage finally came out on top and i won. awwwwww jyeaaaaaaaaah.
buncha people were playin kings outside...wish i coulda played but my liver said "no." the rest of the night for me was a big 'ol blur...but all in all, it was definately a kickass party.
Day 5: One Day of Sobriety
woke up with my body still tingling...had to yack a bit but then i was all better. didn't do too much but recover.
Day 6: Meagan's Last Night
chilled for most of the day. at night i started up the bonfire in cathy's backyard and cooked up some s'mores. eventually went out to a bar cuz it was 2-for-1 Tuesdays. my liver was still hurtin' so i didn't drink that much. we ran into some gumpy kid and he just started talking to us. it was obvious he was not from around town so we meagan and george decided to fuck with him. they started having bullshit conversations with him, saying they were from the midwest and shit (the gumpy guy was from wisconsin) so they all had a "midwest connection." had our fun with him so we ditched his ass and went to another bar.
5 mins later, the fucker finds us at the other bar and starts talking to meagan. i've never seen a girl BS as much she did that night....the guy couldn't get the hint to fuck off so we told him that meagan was a lesbien...the fucker screamed out "WHAT?!?! A LESBIEN!?!!?" and made a whole scene about it. the fucker got the point and left.
went back home and smoked a bowl...reflected on how stupid that guy was...said bye to meagan (cuz she was flying out first thing in the morning) and passed out.
Day 7: Just Chillin'
went swimmin...met up with cathy's friend christine (last time i saw her was in SD when i was drunk as fuck and i ripped the loudest fuckin fart in front of her). we watched American Wedding...which was fuckin' hilarious. oh yeah, then we ate at Mel's Diner...got me a cool t-shirt that says "Mel's: The Original" on it.
late that night, isabelle called me up for a booty call. haha jk she just finished her 30 page group paper so she wanted to smoke out with me.
Mel: oh my god i'm so stoned... Isabelle: ...shall we smoke another one? Mel: :shock: another one??....its up to you... Isabelle: ok, i'll pack a bigger one this time...
yeah....i was pretty gone after that....
Day 8: Bye Bye
spent the whole morning & afternoon recovering...still was stoned as fuck when i woke up. pretty much packed my shit then got on the plane back to SoCal.
all in all, this trip was fuckin' awesome. my body's still recovering from all the damage but man....everything was sooooo worth it. in 7 days, only two of 'em were sober. hopefully i'll go back up later this month for isabelle's birthday bash...
