Mister Kogi. Buddy. Buttmunch. My silly, smelly little Kogi Bear. 10 years is so long yet so short. You filled my home and my heart with a lifetime of love and memories. Yet, it feels like just yesterday that I was still counting down the days until I could finally bring you home. You've crossed the rainbow bridge now, but your little paw prints on my heart will be a part of me forever.
I remember the day I brought you home. Truth be told, I told Mark about you but kept you a secret from my parents. When my dad found out, he told me that he doesn't want a dog. I told him, "Fuck you Dad, I do what I want!" (Not really) But the day I brought you home, literally all it took was just one look and you won him over instantly. In that exact moment, you wiggled your little puppy face into his heart and turned my dad into your Lolo. He didn't stand a chance.
In no time, you became the glue for the family. We used to always just do our own things, but with you joining as the youngest family member, everyone had their hand in raising you. Lolo would teach you how to catch tennis balls and food with your mouth. Lola would feed you every morning and clean up whenever you had diarrhea. (Man, do you remember that one week??) Mark would play fetch with you and eventually introduce you to your favorite treat — baby carrots.
For me, well, you became my everything.
From that first day onward, it wasn't just about me taking a crash course in being a dog parent — it was a crash course on figuring out your weird-ass quirks.
I never told you this to your face, Kogi, but you are by far the weirdest eater I've ever known. For whatever reason, I had the hardest time getting you to eat as a puppy. I eventually threw in a tennis ball to turn dinner into a game. Next thing I know, that became your thing for the rest of your life. Dinner time = slowest-game-of-fetch-ever time. One toss = one bite. That's not normal, Buttmunch. But you always cherished it…and so did I.
Also, I'm 100% sure I’ll never find someone so eager to lick the meat-sweats off my bald head the way you did. You always did it so passionately, with your eyes closed so tight, like the ending of a love story.
Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if that was your love language or because you thought that was mine. To be honest, it's not my thing...and my bald head has smelled like your breath for the past 10 years straight. But you always cherished it…and so did I.
You had this really weird love-hate relationship with back rubs too, Kogi Bear. Every morning or mid-afternoon while you were barely awake, I would rub your back and watch you squirm all over the bed, purring like a kitten for a solid minute…and then you'd suddenly roll over, stand up, and shake it off like, "No! I hate this! You stress me out!" Don't lie, you know you loved it…and so did I.
Oh hey, do you remember your first week home? I think it was your fifth day, I was messing around with my friend's Google Glass while you were sniffing around. This was the moment I learned your signal for going potty. I'm sorry I flipped you over mid-poop and then dropped you as I tried to catch your turd. But hey, we managed to keep that poop off the carpet! High five, buddy! It's all about developing team chemistry right from the beginning.
Do you remember the time I took you to the dog park and you were supposed to be my wingman? You were supposed to go up to those two Asian girls and lead them to me. Instead, you ran up to them, started snorting / reverse-sneezing for a full minute, and then came running back to me. Not exactly the smoothest move but who am I to judge? You're the one with the ability to go up to any woman and just kiss them on the mouth without getting a restraining order.
Looking back at all our cherished memories, I realize how you taught me so much about living in the moment. You taught me to find joy in the simplest, everyday things. Every single time I took you on the same walks on the same few routes, you would always take the time to sniff every freakin' bush and blade of grass like you've never sniffed them before in your life. Every single walk for you was like a brand new book that you had to take your sweet time to read, from beginning to end. You always cherished those simple moments…and because of you, so did I.
Our walks together were your most favorite thing in the world. I promise to keep going on our daily walks for you, Kogi, with your collar in my hand, and your joyful sense of curiosity in my heart.
While your presence will be felt on every walk, there are so many things I will miss without you:
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I will miss seeing you napping in my bed and my bean bag chair while I work.
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I will miss you waking me up every weekend, getting clingier and clingier until I finally got out of bed.
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I will miss our mid-day weekend naps together.
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I will miss holding your hind leg while you pee so you don't step in your own puddle.
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I will miss your ears perking up and you barking every time I say, "Who's that??"
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I will miss you guarding me with your life while I'm sitting on the toilet.
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I will miss hearing you running up and down the hallway frantically when you were playing fetch with Mark.
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I will miss hearing your high-pitched "Hey, get me the fucking ball" bark whenever it rolled under the couch.
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I will miss the sound of you walking up to me and dropping your favorite stuff animals at my feet when you wanted to play. And when I didn't respond to you immediately, you would sit there patiently and politely, like the goodest boy ever.
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I will miss you sprawling all over my packed clothes whenever you noticed me packing up for a trip.
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I will miss rolling up your favorite toys in my blanket and watching you spend 10 minutes straight trying to dig them out. You're so cute when you're tired, lol.
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I will miss you chasing me around the house whenever I have a fresh handful of baby carrots in my hand every night.
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I will miss all my days beginning and ending with you, your cuddles, and your big fat sloppy kisses.
The paw prints you left on my heart will never fade, and for that, all I can feel is gratitude.
Thank you for teaching me patience.
Thank you for teaching me to live in the moment and to find joy in the simplest things in life.
Most of all, thank you for teaching me unconditional love. You were my #1 from Day 1. And you made sure I knew, every single day, that I was yours too.
Although our time together came to a sudden end, I am at peace knowing I was able to be there with you, talking to you, and comforting you, face-to-face, right up until the moment passed. You were always there for me. I was always there for you.
Whenever my time on this earth is supposed to come, I look forward to waking up in a grass field and seeing you running to me in slow motion. I promise you an eternity of long walks, games of fetch, back rubs, baby carrots, and all the bacon-licious meat-sweats on my head for you to lick as much as you want. Until then…
Aloha for now, Mister Kogi. My goodest boy. And my bestest friend.
Forever and Always,
Mel
