50+ Things I Learned from 2006

  • Taxes rape you so hard it's not even funny.
  • It's super easy to get your identity out there on the internet.
  • ... but it's damn near impossible to take it back.
  • It's true: job searching is all about who you know.
  • Passion is everything.
  • Drinking with an alcoholic around balconies is a terrible idea.
  • Sugar is what makes you fat.
  • At some point, age becomes just a number. You'll make friends with people much older or younger than yourself.
  • Graduation is the greatest day in your parents' lives.
  • Pop music is terrible these days.
  • Never hold off on buying toilet paper.
  • You only get one chance at a good first impression.
  • Sometimes one chance is all you'll get.
  • Always have an outlet for creativity.
  • You can never take too many pictures.
  • You can never write too many journals.
  • There's a difference between lonely and desperate.
  • Your personal time becomes a more valuable commodity when you start working.
  • Clanking on a broken cellphone will not fix it.
  • Don't download from Limewire; it's dirtier than a Tijuana whore.
  • Karaoke is all about how much you drank.
  • Close all windowblinds when you walk around the house naked.
  • Buy more socks and less underwear.
  • Your car is worth more than some people's annual salaries in other counrties.
  • Private (high) schools are ridiculously expensive; props to parents with several kids.
  • You cherish things more towards the end.
  • The Butterfly Effect is real.
  • Their little sisters grow up fast.
  • It'll always be hard to say goodbye. Even to your hairstylist.
  • Always find closure. Always.
  • Buy a Tivo.
  • Some people just aren't worth it.
  • Over-optimism is a painful flaw.
  • New Years and Birthdays get less exciting.
  • Sometimes the best solution is to just let things run its course.
  • After graduation, get used to seeing the exact same faces everyday.
  • People bullshit all the time in their resumes.
  • Sometimes the qualified ones just don't have interview skills.
  • Relationships will only work if both sides are willing to put in the same amount of effort to make it work.
  • Christmas is all about the youngest generation in the family.
  • Pathetic people stab in the back.
  • Respectable people stab in the front.
  • They go straight to the buttsex in Brokeback Mountain without any foreplay or warning.
  • Always negotiate with car salesmen just a little before closing hours; they'll get hella eager to make the sale so they can go home.
  • Cool people use Macs.
  • Wish "happy birthday" to your Myspace friends, or just delete them.
  • There are such things as ugly babies.
  • Some people are just not built for clubbing.
  • There's a difference between ADD and lack of motivation.
  • You never truly taste success until you have tasted failure.
  • You'll never fully appreciate a massage from a girl 'til you've been massaged by another dude.
  • Porn and farting will always be reliable conversation starters for men.

// idea from Scott the Nametag Guy.